The Ides of March: The Sacred Balance Between Destruction and Construction

In January, the month that felt like an entire year, I had a day where all of the current events and constant news updates got to me. I felt so helpless and stuck, and second guessing so many things. When I feel like this, it helps to sit and do some divination and talk to my guides. I sat and asked, “What am I supposed to do? The world around me is burning, and I’m making jewelry. This seems wrong. There must be more I can do.” I shuffled the cards and was met with the message of, “Trust in your intuition and continue the path that you are on. There is meaning in your work, and although you may not see it now - it will help others. Find community, and trust that justice will be served.” 

My mind was then flooded with images of vintage jewelry I had worked with spanning decades, centuries, and all of their stories that were tied to them. Worn wedding bands that had been passed down through generations told of the love stories they came from. The WWII sweetheart pins with pictures of soldiers that mothers, wives, and loved ones wore and held as they prayed their soldier would make it home safely. The cherished charm bracelets collected over years with charms from each destination traveled to with stories of brighter days. The Victorian love tokens that were intricately carved from coins by artisans who had fallen on hard times and bartered their art for a warm meal. I then thought about my own meaningful pieces of jewelry. The diamond stud earrings my grandmother gave me for my wedding that she had made from diamonds from jewelry my grandfather had gifted her. The turquoise necklace my grandmother passed down to me when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The costume necklace my great grandmother gifted me when I won a creative writing award because she was so proud of me. The pieces I wouldn’t trade for anything because their value is rooted in love and in their stories.

It made me realize that while yes, I am making jewelry while the world is burning - I’m also crafting pieces that will be cherished through the good and bad times that will eventually be someone’s cherished heirlooms. Although I was still feeling a bit defeated, I headed to my work bench to create and take my mind off of everything. As I was perusing my gemstones and materials trying to draw up a new design, I kept thinking about the history buffs drawing the parallels of our current events to different points in history. “Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” I thought about all of the astrologers comparing the current transits to points in history with similar events. The United States just finished its Pluto return - a transit that takes 248 years. Pluto being the planet of death, rebirth, power, endings, transformation. “The fall of the Roman Empire.”

I grabbed the knife pancake die I hadn’t used yet. Holding it in my hands, I had ideas running through my mind. Remembering I had some small tear drop garnets I began to search for them. Lining the pieces up, I knew it was a perfect fit. Those moments where you get so excited about a design, give me such life. I got to my hydraulic press with the knife die and got to work popping out little knives. The repetition of popping out little knives kept me thinking about, “those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” However, if the parallels of astrology align with different points in history then: is it fated by the stars? A process of the turning of the wheels that is inevitable? Ting, ting, more little knives. Even if we managed to educate everyone about history thoroughly, that wouldn’t stop people from their greed, selfishness, and narcissism. Ting, another little knife. Must every generation go through difficult times in order for their souls’ growth and purpose? Okay, I have plenty of knives.

I gathered up my little knives and went back to my work bench. I knew I wanted the garnet “blood drops” to hang and move freely instead of being stagnant. After all, blood runs and moves freely and doesn’t stay in one place. It got me thinking of all the innocent blood shed across the world. So many innocent lives lost simply because of where they lived, what religion they practiced, the color of their skin, and so many more unjust reasons. Why is it so difficult to let each other live freely with the pursuit of happiness as long as no one is being harmed in the process? The garnet “blood drops” pour out of the bag all over my work bench. I suppose world peace will never be possible considering life is all about balancing the dark and the light. In complete darkness we cannot see our shadows, we cannot see anything. In nothing but light, we are blinded, unable to see, disoriented. It is the balance of both darkness and light where we find harmony. The acceptance that we cannot see everything as black or white, but we must find the silver lining. We exist in the in between.

Silver. I start sawing out small tear drop pieces of silver for the backing of the garnets. I cut the bezel wire to go around the garnets. The bezel wire is always a precise part of making the jewelry. It must be snug around the gemstone, yet leaving enough space so the gemstone will fit inside after the piece is constructed. We must always hold space for others in our circle, but if there is too much space, things don’t work out well in the end. We are, of course, only one person. We cannot shoulder all of the burdens and responsibilities ourselves, but must come together, sharing our gifts, skills, and wisdom, to collectively bring about change. Ah yes, a reminder from my guides. I cannot expect myself alone to bring about change - I must find community and together we can bring about change.

I collect all of the little knives and backings to the garnets to stamp them. Each garnet backing gets my logo stamp, and the knives get the sterling stamp. A repetitive portion of the creation, yet it is important to control my force. If I hammer too hard, the stamping will show through to the other side or distort the piece. If I hammer too lightly, the mark will not be left and I risk misalignment and double stamping. Another symbolic message. Both ways lead to damage whether it be distortion or double stamping. Force is necessary, but it cannot be too strong or lacking. We must be intentional with our amount of force, being precise, to leave our mark. All of the pieces are stamped, time to assemble. 

It would be easier to let the garnet “blood drops” be stagnant, but when have I ever taken the easier route? I solder a small ring to the tip of the knife, and a small ring to the top of the garnet. I repeat this delicate process. Then carefully I take an open ring to hook the two together. Very precisely, I solder that ring shut. I have to be careful with the torch flame so I do not heat the rest of the piece too much otherwise my previous solder joints will get too warm, melt, and break open. The flame is so powerful, with the right amount it can create, but with too much it can destroy. As so many things in life, it is a sacred balance between destruction and construction. It takes skill and patience for the construction. Recklessness causes destruction. I carefully repeat this process again and again.

Once all of the soldering is done it is time to polish. Construction isn’t the final step, we must refine and perfect. Using several types of tools, I polish by hand to remove the marks of construction - the scratches, the extra solder, patiently polishing away the imperfections. A delicate process to bring out the inner shine. This is just the first phase of polishing. Now to set the garnet “blood drops”. I gently place the garnet into the bezel, and with several different tools I work my way around the garnet gently pressing the metal to form tightly around the garnet. A little at a time the silver encompasses the garnet protecting it and holding it into place. A gentle touch with patience and time creates the perfect bezel tight around the garnet where it can no longer move, and is enveloped with silver. Despite being gentle in this process, the tools leave marks around the bezel so it is time for polishing round two. Very delicately, I polish the marks away from the bezel avoiding the garnet so I do not scratch or damage it. Sure, I could leave it as is where the marks would only be seen under close inspection, but it is part of the craft to perfect and ensure the quality.

I think of my ancestors and how these delicate processes used to be commonplace in many trades and crafts. It used to be commonplace to have handmade goods before the industrial revolution. Slowly over time, we have erased the art and history of handmade goods in favor of mass manufacturing. Sure, it has led to many great advancements and has benefited society in many ways. However, we’ve also lost touch with craftsmanship and appreciating the alchemy of the artist. An artist cannot compete with the cheap labor of machines and mass manufacturing. Yet, the machines cannot create and imbue the love, skill, and intention of the artist. Despite these hurdles, the artists may have dwindled, but many still survive purely out of the love of the craft. They survive because of the people who recognize their skills, creativity, and love that goes into their work. A true artist can never die as their work lives on being passed down generation to generation as heirlooms. 

The Ides of March. Although amidst the chaos, I find solace knowing that every cycle has its end. Eventually we sort through the destruction to find what is salvageable. Artists come together with their creative ideas and as a community build back better from the destruction. From the destruction, we learn what led us there in the first place so we may not repeat the same mistakes. In the destruction, we mourn those we lost and vow to build better for the next generations to come. The destruction makes us appreciate what we previously took for granted. There is redirection after the destruction. The redirection that leads to renaissance. The renaissance that helps society bloom again. I recall how wildfires are destructive, yet all of the burnt material enriches the soil for new growth to prosper. As many of us, I wish we could avoid the destruction all together - on a personal and collective basis. However, there is solace knowing this cycle will eventually end, and on the other side there will be so many of us who will help sort through and build back better. The vicious cycles of life affect us all, but find solace that every cycle ends leading to a new, better beginning. Hold out for hope, and gather with the like-minded to build communities who will help to grow a better future for us all after we survive the destruction.