Metaphysical Properties: Can A Gemstone Really Fix My Problems?

Metaphysical properties - what does it mean? It is the belief that items carry energy that can help to create spiritual, energetic, and physical changes. Key word here: help. 

We know from science that everything has energy and that energy cannot be created nor destroyed; it can only be transformed or transferred from one form to another. Crystals have energy. Again, science has proven that by using quartz, one of Earth’s most prevalent minerals, in electronics. Quartz generates precise vibrations and electrical signals and is used in smartphones, watches, computers, and many other electronic devices.

Now, quartz is just a component in these intricate devices. So anyone trying to sell you a crystal to fix your life - is giving off snake oil salesman vibes. Crystals are a tool, an energy available to you to tap into to assist in your work. Rose quartz is popularly known for its metaphysical properties of love, compassion, and inner healing. Let me give you a firsthand experience with rose quartz and how it can help you on your journey.

Something I struggled with most of my life is negative self talk and being my own worst critic. This stemmed from years of bullying and critique of my looks, style, body shape from peers, media, my own mother, and other family members. Sadly, it is an experience that is all too common. A common practice in CBT therapy is challenging our negative thoughts, and replacing them with positive thoughts. Over time with consistent practice, this reroutes neural pathways in our brains establishing new, healthier habits. 

When I say I was my own worst critic, at my worst I couldn’t even stand to look at myself in the mirror without degrading myself. I never had a positive thing to say about myself, because over years all the negative talk about me from those who were around me created the belief that I was ugly, worthless, and a failure. Over time, I began to evaluate those who I surrounded myself with. I began the work to challenge my negative thoughts. At first it wasn’t much. Where I’d usually look at myself in the mirror and point out my flaws and degrade myself, I challenged those thoughts with “well, I do like my eye color.” At first, that was the best I could do, but it was an improvement. 

I reached the bottom of one of those crystal candles, and it had a few small tumbled pieces of rose quartz. As I remembered rose quartz metaphysical properties, I decided to place the rose quartz in my makeup and hair drawers in my bathroom where I would get ready every morning. They served as a reminder to tap into rose quartz energy to help me to challenge my negative thoughts. So even on those really tough days, I’d see the tumbled rose quartz and reluctantly tell myself something positive about myself instead of cutting myself down.

Again, with most things in life, changes didn’t happen overnight. By simply having rose quartz, I didn’t miraculously become more loving and compassionate towards myself. The rose quartz was a tool to tap into its energy, a visual reminder of the work I needed to do. Combined with CBT therapy, a hell of a lot of self work, patience and time - I eventually did reroute those neural pathways. Now, my first thoughts when I look at myself aren’t negative all the time. Sure, I do still have my bad days, but don’t we all? We can learn to become more self loving and compassionate, and unlearn all of the awful things that others have said about us because ultimately those things are not true - they are simply projections of however that person was feeling at the time.

Another gemstone I wear daily is black tourmaline. Black tourmaline helps to ground you, protect you from negative energy, and fosters strength and self confidence. Another thing I’ve personally struggled with is people pleasing. People pleasing has always been my default. I was a parentified eldest daughter who learned at a young age to put others before myself, and never thought about my own wants or needs. As a child, I pushed myself to perfectionist standards: always a straight A student, excelled in sports and extracurriculars, started a band at age 15 that provided me with income to save up for college. I thought the more I did, the more it would quell the instability in my family. That was not the case.

Anyone who has experienced this knows how it spirals in adulthood into perfectionism, constantly seeking external validation, and regularly being taken advantage of by others. This led to a lot of negative coping skills. For me it was binge drinking, and pushing myself into burnout from perfectionist standards. Eventually you hit a point of realization that the current methods aren’t working. The thoughts of, “why am I killing myself for people who don’t care about my own well being?” This is a tough one. Undoing all you’ve ever known, and knowing you’re going to lose people along the way because many only kept you around for what you could do for them. It’s a sad realization knowing that not only do you have a rough road ahead, but that you may have no one to help you along the way. You have to start completely fresh. 

Luckily, I did have a few who stuck around for the right reasons and also respected my growth as I learned to set boundaries. It took a lot of time and a hell of a lot of work, but it leads to a much better, happier place. I still have moments where I find myself people pleasing, but I work hard to recognize and correct it. The best part being, it led me to my chosen family. It led me to the ones I spend holidays with, share my deepest thoughts with, and the ones who have stood by me in my most difficult times. So yes, the road is dark, winding, and long, but it leads to a beautiful place.

So, how did black tourmaline help me along this journey? Well, I can say with absolute certainty, most of my life I was surrounded by negativity that seeped its way into me. Getting black tourmaline didn’t fix it all. Again, it was a tool, an energy to tap into. I have a black tourmaline bracelet I wear daily. During the darkest days, it was a reminder to stand up for myself and set the necessary boundaries so I could get to a better place. It was a reminder to evaluate my standing in peoples’ lives. Did they only call when they needed something? Did they speak negatively about me to others while being nice to my face? Did they value my well being and happiness, or did they envy me and what I had?

I still wear black tourmaline daily. Lately, with the state of the world, it is a reminder to stay educated and up to date on current events without letting them pull me into a dark place. Easier said than done, right? We’re human, and will always have our days, but we have to continue to pick up the pieces and work towards a better tomorrow. This applies to us on an individual level, but also as a collective.

I wish it were as easy as buying a crystal to fix problems. If that worked, I think collectively we’d buy as many crystals as we could and put them into all of our government buildings right now. However, the crystals are a tool and an energy to tap into - and we are the alchemists to bring about change. We have to put the work into ourselves first and then as a collective. If we don’t recognize our own faults and downfalls, how will we be able to recognize the faults and downfalls of our nation? The work begins with us. May we help each other heal on an individual basis so we can band together to heal as a collective and bring about a better tomorrow for us and generations to come.